Boobs, Bottles, and Solids Oh My!

One of the big cross roads that every mother faces when they have a child, to breast feed or not to breast feed that is the question. For some, the answer comes so easily and others it's difficult. And some the answer is thrust upon them, but it all doesn't matter in the end as long as your little one gets the nutrition he or she needs. There are many posts about the facts and science behind breast feeding versus formula, but many do not address the emotions and turmoil behind it.

I knew from the get go I wanted to breast feed Little Sunshine, I also didn't know how hard it was going to be. Not just right after she was born, but as she continues to grow. When Little Sunshine came into the world, she had to be in the NICU for two days because the doctor's where concerned we both would have an infection. Because they were pumping antibiotics they wanted to insure she had enough nutrients by making her take formula with every feeding along with breast feeding. At one point I was having such a hard time getting my bundle of joy latching on that I was frantic and I was crying in my solace. I couldn't even get her to take a bottle. I was barely two days in and I felt like I failed. I couldn't feed my own child. Then an angel of a nurse appeared out of no where that resembled Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus and coached me through it. The biggest piece of advice she gave me was to breathe and relax. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe and let it go. Just like that, magic, Little Sunshine latched on. I saw Miss Frizzle once or twice more during our stay, but I never saw her again. She was my breast feeding angel and I thank her every time I get frustrated with breast feeding. 

Other mother's also know right away that breast feeding is not for them and want to start on formula right away. And that's a perfectly valid decision. I repeat, a perfectly valid decision, do not let anyone make you feel guilty about going that route. As long as your baby is happy and healthy that is all that is important. There are also mothers that are just not able to produce enough milk or because of other reasons, are not able to breast feed. I had a close mother friend that fought the decision to finally just give her child formula after trying hour after hour to try to feed her little girl. She confessed to me a few weeks later she still feels guilty and that is a natural and understandable feeling, but know that it is not your fault. There were wet nurses back in the day! So why can't you use formula that is perfectly healthy for your child?

Now if you are not sure what route to go, my personal advice as a mom, why not give it a try. I had a co worker when I was working sans Little Sunshine, let's call her Jane, was constantly worrying during her pregnancy if she was doing it right and if her baby was healthy. Jane was constantly going back and forth about breast feeding and formula, especially because the cost of formula. I simply told her, why not try it. What's the harm? If you like it, you can pump while at work and continue. If it's not for you, then you have your answer. There is no harm in trying.

No one tells you when you get pregnant about all the hard things. I think it's the cause of pregnancy/mommy brain that makes them forget to remind you at your baby shower, "Oh yea, your boobs are going to hurt from time to time with clogged milk ducts." or "You are not alone, I cried in the shower time and time again after a long day of trying to feed my baby" or my favorite, "It's not always going to be easy, you may have your rough days and good days. But no matter what, the time I spend breast feeding/bottle feeding my little one brought us closer and wouldn't trade a moment of it for the world". Feeding a child via bottle or boob, is not always easy, but it will seem like a brief moment in time. Just know you can do it. I am telling you can do it, which ever way you decide to go. I promise it will get easier. And if you are expecting or just curious, it isn't all bad and it isn't always sunshine and rainbows; but as a mother of my first child, I can not imagine the most rewarding job I have ever had, being a mom.

The Journey of Sleepy Time

Oh nap time, glorious nap time. I LOVE nap time, it's the few hours during the day I can get a lot of things done, this post is a perfect example of one. Don't get me wrong, Little Sunshine supervises and "assists" when I cook and clean, but doing business over the phone is difficult when you have a giggling baby in the background.

A new born will sleep for about 15-16 hours and over time slowly decreases over time. I personally noticed a significant change at around six months, which is about 12-15 hours a day. Most babies stay on the lower end. But man oh man, that transition to fewer naps, the longest week or so of my life as a mommy so far! Then there is the issue of trying to get them to sleep through the night.

Little Sunshine just turned 6 months old and she is still not sleeping through the night. For a few months we have tried the "no cry sleep solution" by Pantley and we were doing alright even though Wonderful Hubby wasn't a fan; but then teething and the holidays hit. I couldn't even get her to sleep on her own without waking her up during her naps and she would wake every two hours! My days were long and boy was I exhausted. After a week or so, I had a close break down, but fortunately Wonderful Hubby swooped in.

I had to take a step back and realize that this was not working for me. It was not working for us as parents. It was most certainly not working for Little Sunshine. I am pretty sure the No Cry Sleep Solution worked for others and I am sad it doesn't work for us now, so I had to push aside my pride and try something new. I personally thought that the cry it out method was never for me, I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was a combination of things, but I just needed to get over it.

So Hubby and I talked over it together and we came up with a plan that worked for us. I was not fully comfortably with the full on Ferber Method (better known as crying it out) and I knew "No Cry" wasn't working. So we came up with parts of each that we liked and put together a plan that we were comfortable with. We are not fully there but there has been a MASS improvement since we started our personal plan and we are not even a full week in. Little Sunshine falls asleep on her own if she starts to wake on her own and she is going longer stretches at night.

So for all those sleepily trying to find the end in sight of naps and sleeping through the night the first thing you need to do is have a talk with your partner and see what you two are comfortable with. No matter who is or isn't getting up in the middle of the night, if you both are not on the same page, I swear the baby will know and plan your demise. Then even though it might be hard, stick with it. I promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it does get easier. Even though you are all super moms and dads in your own way, even Superman needed a little help and wasn't always easy for him.