Boobs, Bottles, and Solids Oh My!

One of the big cross roads that every mother faces when they have a child, to breast feed or not to breast feed that is the question. For some, the answer comes so easily and others it's difficult. And some the answer is thrust upon them, but it all doesn't matter in the end as long as your little one gets the nutrition he or she needs. There are many posts about the facts and science behind breast feeding versus formula, but many do not address the emotions and turmoil behind it.

I knew from the get go I wanted to breast feed Little Sunshine, I also didn't know how hard it was going to be. Not just right after she was born, but as she continues to grow. When Little Sunshine came into the world, she had to be in the NICU for two days because the doctor's where concerned we both would have an infection. Because they were pumping antibiotics they wanted to insure she had enough nutrients by making her take formula with every feeding along with breast feeding. At one point I was having such a hard time getting my bundle of joy latching on that I was frantic and I was crying in my solace. I couldn't even get her to take a bottle. I was barely two days in and I felt like I failed. I couldn't feed my own child. Then an angel of a nurse appeared out of no where that resembled Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus and coached me through it. The biggest piece of advice she gave me was to breathe and relax. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe and let it go. Just like that, magic, Little Sunshine latched on. I saw Miss Frizzle once or twice more during our stay, but I never saw her again. She was my breast feeding angel and I thank her every time I get frustrated with breast feeding. 

Other mother's also know right away that breast feeding is not for them and want to start on formula right away. And that's a perfectly valid decision. I repeat, a perfectly valid decision, do not let anyone make you feel guilty about going that route. As long as your baby is happy and healthy that is all that is important. There are also mothers that are just not able to produce enough milk or because of other reasons, are not able to breast feed. I had a close mother friend that fought the decision to finally just give her child formula after trying hour after hour to try to feed her little girl. She confessed to me a few weeks later she still feels guilty and that is a natural and understandable feeling, but know that it is not your fault. There were wet nurses back in the day! So why can't you use formula that is perfectly healthy for your child?

Now if you are not sure what route to go, my personal advice as a mom, why not give it a try. I had a co worker when I was working sans Little Sunshine, let's call her Jane, was constantly worrying during her pregnancy if she was doing it right and if her baby was healthy. Jane was constantly going back and forth about breast feeding and formula, especially because the cost of formula. I simply told her, why not try it. What's the harm? If you like it, you can pump while at work and continue. If it's not for you, then you have your answer. There is no harm in trying.

No one tells you when you get pregnant about all the hard things. I think it's the cause of pregnancy/mommy brain that makes them forget to remind you at your baby shower, "Oh yea, your boobs are going to hurt from time to time with clogged milk ducts." or "You are not alone, I cried in the shower time and time again after a long day of trying to feed my baby" or my favorite, "It's not always going to be easy, you may have your rough days and good days. But no matter what, the time I spend breast feeding/bottle feeding my little one brought us closer and wouldn't trade a moment of it for the world". Feeding a child via bottle or boob, is not always easy, but it will seem like a brief moment in time. Just know you can do it. I am telling you can do it, which ever way you decide to go. I promise it will get easier. And if you are expecting or just curious, it isn't all bad and it isn't always sunshine and rainbows; but as a mother of my first child, I can not imagine the most rewarding job I have ever had, being a mom.

The Journey of Sleepy Time

Oh nap time, glorious nap time. I LOVE nap time, it's the few hours during the day I can get a lot of things done, this post is a perfect example of one. Don't get me wrong, Little Sunshine supervises and "assists" when I cook and clean, but doing business over the phone is difficult when you have a giggling baby in the background.

A new born will sleep for about 15-16 hours and over time slowly decreases over time. I personally noticed a significant change at around six months, which is about 12-15 hours a day. Most babies stay on the lower end. But man oh man, that transition to fewer naps, the longest week or so of my life as a mommy so far! Then there is the issue of trying to get them to sleep through the night.

Little Sunshine just turned 6 months old and she is still not sleeping through the night. For a few months we have tried the "no cry sleep solution" by Pantley and we were doing alright even though Wonderful Hubby wasn't a fan; but then teething and the holidays hit. I couldn't even get her to sleep on her own without waking her up during her naps and she would wake every two hours! My days were long and boy was I exhausted. After a week or so, I had a close break down, but fortunately Wonderful Hubby swooped in.

I had to take a step back and realize that this was not working for me. It was not working for us as parents. It was most certainly not working for Little Sunshine. I am pretty sure the No Cry Sleep Solution worked for others and I am sad it doesn't work for us now, so I had to push aside my pride and try something new. I personally thought that the cry it out method was never for me, I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was a combination of things, but I just needed to get over it.

So Hubby and I talked over it together and we came up with a plan that worked for us. I was not fully comfortably with the full on Ferber Method (better known as crying it out) and I knew "No Cry" wasn't working. So we came up with parts of each that we liked and put together a plan that we were comfortable with. We are not fully there but there has been a MASS improvement since we started our personal plan and we are not even a full week in. Little Sunshine falls asleep on her own if she starts to wake on her own and she is going longer stretches at night.

So for all those sleepily trying to find the end in sight of naps and sleeping through the night the first thing you need to do is have a talk with your partner and see what you two are comfortable with. No matter who is or isn't getting up in the middle of the night, if you both are not on the same page, I swear the baby will know and plan your demise. Then even though it might be hard, stick with it. I promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it does get easier. Even though you are all super moms and dads in your own way, even Superman needed a little help and wasn't always easy for him.

Taking Care of Yourself So You Can Take Care of Your Little One

Hey there Other Mothers and friends. I am writing this post from my banishment into my bedroom enforced by Wonderful Hubby. Why am I banished do you ask? Because he realized I needed to take a moment for myself and he took over on full time Daddy duty to get his Little Sunshine to bed.

I never realized how much motherhood in general, whether you are a SAHM or a Working Mom, can take a toll on you. With all the feeding, pumping, singing, playing, and sleep deprivation you don't realize how quickly you can become a crazy cranky mom. As I told you in my teething post, Little Sunshine is teething at the moment plus she is adjusting to a new nap schedule, a schedule we have yet to figure out, so we are both a little cranky and tired since little miss is waking up every few hours. God Bless Wonderful Hubby for having the strength to deal with TWO cranky girls in one house (granted one is his wife and the other is almost 6 months old, but alas both cry.)

There have been days where Little Sunshine doesn't want to take a nap or is fussy most of the day and I can't get anything done. I kid you not, today she had 2 of her 3 naps in my arms for an hour at a time because I didn't want her to wake. If she takes good naps, she sleeps better at night. So today my mission was for at least a total of 4 hours of nap time. On days like today, I start loosing my sanity. It happens, it's life, you are normal.

This is where having a support system comes into play. Wonderful Hubby takes over responsibility once he sees the crazy in my eyes. Second, is having an escape. One day, Wonderful Hubby went to a seminar for half a day, he asked if I could hold down the fort (this was when she was a few weeks old). I responded, "I got this, easy peasey." Lord did I know, Little Sunshine refused to nap for me that day and wanted me. As soon as Wonderful Hubby came home, I immediately proclaimed, "See ya later I am running to go get a milkshake, be back in 5." That 5 minutes was what kept me sane that day. Tonight it's my bedroom and having Wonderful Hubby take over bed time duties.

Lastly, make sure every day you do something that helps you feel like you. It doesn't have to be grand and it doesn't have to be major. For me, I have to shower. Whether Lil' Sunshine takes a nap or not, I make sure I take a shower. I shower is what helps me feel normal and able to start my day. Other's it might be that much needed cup of coffee or painting your nails.

So among my ramblings, let me review. First and most take care of yourself; make sure you eat and take care of yourself. Second, have a support system. And lastly, treat yourself and do something for you. Being a parent is hard and it's even harder when you can't take care of yourself. So enjoy your little ones and enjoy the day!!

Oh the Joys of Teething

Teething, oh lovely lovely teething. Little Sunshine is what I would call the in between stage of teething. The stage "MUST.KNAW.ON.EVERYTHING". It comes right after "Drooling puddles the size of The Gulf of Mexico" and before "Breaking skin and in pain...ahhh tooth has arrived!". Teething is a long process and your little one can go back and forth in between these lovely stages. Little Sunshine decided to trick us week of Christmas. She was chewing on everything and was cranky as all get out (which is unusual for her), and rubbing on her gums relieved her pain. So I thought, "Oh man oh man, my little girl is going to have her first tooth shortly after Christmas." No such luck, we are a month later and no sight of that little sucker.

Now teething is different for every child. The average is 7 months for the first tooth to appear, but it can be as early as 3 or as late as 12. Now for us, it could be worse. Not gonna lie, I secretly prayed that Little Sunshine would be one of those who would have a cranky day or two and then BAM, over night a pretty little pearly white waiting for me. But I am fortunate that she isn't those who are up all night screaming bloody murder. If this is you, I light a candle in prayer for you.

What is a parent to do!?!?! If you are at home all day and all night with a fussy and cranky baby, one could loose their mind! I was fortunate the first time she was cranky during the holidays, so I had relatives who wanted to play with her which also distracted her. There are things you can do to help alleviate the pain. Let them chew! Yes nothing you own will be dry ever again, but it helps. Usually something cold and wet can numb the pain, but again every child is different. Little Sunshine loves to chew on Wonderful Hubby's fingers and her plastic keys. If you are trying solids, something cold to eat or drink might also help.

Worst case scenario, give the kid some infant Tylenol! It's OK to give it to your baby as long as you follow the instructions and give them the right dosage. I know some mom's don't want to over medicate their baby and worry about their livers, but as long as you confer with your doctor and don't over do it, It's OKAY! Let me tell you once more, It's perfectly OKAY to give your kid Tylenol. If it helps with your baby's pain, it is not only helps them, but frankly it helps you stay sane or get a decent nights sleep. You have to not only take care of your baby but take care of you also. You can not take care of your baby well if you are not well enough yourself. We will address Mommy Care later in a post or two.

If you are concerned about anything, call your pediatrician, that's what you pay them for in visits. If they start drooling at 4 months go ahead and spark the convo with them, if not probably at your 6 month check up with do. But alas, teething is one of those "fun" parts of enjoying your little baby grow. Just sit back, try to relax, and have fun waiting for those little pearly suckers to pop out of those adorable pinky gummy gums!

Surviving one post at a time, first post

Hey there friends, family, and hopefully other mothers who need to know that they are not alone. At this moment and time I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) to a beautiful adorable little 5 1/2 month old girl who knows she is pretty cute too. I have always been pretty good with children and when my Wonderful Hubby and I found out we had a bun in the oven, I secretly thought, "I got this. It's going to be like babysitting my cousins but all the time." I thought wrong...

Don't get me wrong, the moment I laid eyes on my little girl and saw my husbands face of pure joy, I knew I hit the mother freaking load. I was in perfect harmony. I was in complete love even after 28 hours of labor being exhausted and so so so thirsty and starving. That went a away the moment I saw her perfect face. (I was lucky, her face never got mushed like most babies do when they come to the world.) That was the day I officially started being a SAHM.

Now before I became pregnant I never knew quite what I wanted to do. I thought I would stay at home with the baby for about 6 months and go back to work. But Wonderful Hubby and I did the math, it would cost us more to keep our Little Sunshine in Daycare than it would be if I stayed at home with her, and wouldn't it be better if one of us took care of her? I instantly thought in my head, what the hell am I going to do all day? I am going to be so bored! I feel so bad I am not going to be able to contribute bringing the bacon to the table. Wonderful Hubby had to coach me several times when I was at home alone before she came (we moved at 37 weeks pregnant, oh so fun) that it was ok. I repeat, "It's OKAY that you are not bringing in an income. Your job is to take care of our daughter. That is more of a job than you think it is. I don't think you realize how hard it is to be a homemaker". Boy was he right, I had no fucking idea.

Now I am almost six months in and it is the most rewarding yet exhausting job I have ever had, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love taking care of our Little Sunshine, but no one really tells you "Kiss sleeping in goodbye for a few years!" or "Oh yea, you are going to be up every few hours for a while until they get bigger". So recently I thought, why not blow the lid wide open.

I wanted to start this blog to discuss about motherhood, raising kids, life all while staying sane and all surviving on 2 hours of sleep. Granted, now I am getting a little more than that, but I felt like that in the very beginning. Now I am not an expert, I just read a lot, trying to figure it out day by day, and ask for help, so no way should you take it as professional advice (I will do all the research I can and ask others, but please don't hold me legally responsible for anything). I want this blog to be for those who want extra information, a place to not feel alone, and maybe just need a laugh. Just to warn you, I am honest, blunt, and sarcastic. Take what you like and leave the rest! For now, enjoy your little one because they will have grown up before you know it!